


Mourning for Two

by M88nlighter



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: At least its heavily implied, Borderline Personality Disorder, Broken Engagement, Canon Compliant, Everyone thinks shiros dead, Freeform, Homophobic Language, Im sorry for that, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, James is a bully, Keith (Voltron) Has BPD, M/M, Multi, Pre-Canon, Rape/Non-con Elements, Ryan and Keith are roomates because I said so, THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A CRACK FIC BUT WERE OVER 11 THOUSAND WORDS, The Author Regrets Everything, Underage Drinking, Wow james is such a dick, idk how to write adam, im too involved in this, including keith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-07-01 07:19:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15769284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M88nlighter/pseuds/M88nlighter
Summary: Keith and Adam help each other to deal with Shiro's recent disappearance.





	1. Let Me Help

**Author's Note:**

> I was hoping someone would write something along these lines but no avail.
> 
> Be the change you want to see in the world kids.

 

It had been an hour or two since the crew launched on their way to Kerberos, and Keith already felt lost. The gravity that Shiro was gone finally set in. He had left the planet and wasn't coming back anytime soon, he had left Keith all alone.

 

Well, that's not completely true, there were a few kids in his classes he'd talk to, and his roommate, Ryan, who was never around. Almost anyone would have spent more time with him and been supportive if he asked, but he didn't know how to. Of course, there was Adam too. They hadn't spoken for weeks, Adam was extremely disappointed that Keith didn't take his side and try to convince Shiro to stay.

 

He watched the launch from a distance, he wanted to be jealous that Shiro brought Keith with him but he knew that he couldn't. If he had just let Takashi do what he wanted, it would have been there to say goodbye. Held him, kissed him one more time before he left. 'He'll be back, I'll apologize then' that's all he could think about. He still loved Shiro and realized that more with every day.

 

Before they left matt approached Keith and handed him two small devices, communicators. One for him and one for Adam. Explained Shiro didn't know about these but Matt would explain it to him too once they departed. He never talked to Shiro directly, Matt kept him updated on how Shiro was doing.

 

Adam never saw the device.

 

Keith soon had gotten used to this change in daily life. Lied to himself enough times even he believed everything was fine

 

Of course, he still wasn't the best cadet, and fights between him and others became more frequent. So when he was told he was requested in Iverson's office Keith had given it no thought, it wasn't the first time and he doubted it would be the last.

 

He pushed the door open and carefully latched it again behind him and sat down without looking up, not wanting to make eye contact. It was the too familiar sound of another man's voice which got him to do so. "A-"

 

"I want to make this brief" it had been months since they had talked, or even been this close to each other. even longer since they had been alone together.

 

"Am I that much of a problem case now that they had to bring _you_ in?"

"Keith ple-"

 

"Who had this bright idea? It's not like you can magically fix me"

 

"Dammnit Keith this isn't about you" The room went silent as Keith noticed the older man's eyes dampen,  "We- I thought it would only be fair if you were alerted before it hit the news"

 

"Before what hit the news?"

 

"We've lost contact" Keith shot a confused glare over the desk, "We believe there's been a pilot error" He wanted to think hed misunderstood Adam, and that there was some other explanation for those words. "Nothings official until 72 hours have passed, but there is little hope."

"How long has it been?"

  


* * *

  


Keith may feel like shit, but his classes weren't going away, so drowning himself in studying is the only logical idea he could think of. Every day he pulled himself up onto his bed with every one of his books and did not let himself think.

 

He got pulled out of his focus one night by a knock on the door , _if Ryan forgot his key again Christ_. he took a few seconds before getting up fucker can wait. He hit the pad to open the door and immediately turned back to his space.

 

"Keith, hey I've been looking around for you," _Adam_ He gave no response, just sat back down, " Were both dealing with the same thing, I want to be there for you the same way he was an-"

 

"You're nothing like him," the only thing Keith's vocal cords could manage. "He wouldn't give up on anyone so easily, He'd keep looking, never give up hope. What if you went out there? Do you think he'd let anyone hold you're funeral before we had a body to prove it?" _I'm not going to cry, I can't_

 

Adam shot a small smile to the floor "He was always pretty stubborn," _is_ , "But that's what got him into this mess. He knew it was dangerous and went anyway.

 

"Because he knew he could do it,

 

"And he was wrong!" Adam raised his voice for the first time Keith had ever witnessed, Adam was visually more upset than Keith had ever seen, for the first time he seemed more like an equal than a superior to him.

 

Keith backed up and sat on his bed, "It just doesn't make sense that he's gone. What could have happened? How could he just disappear? There's no g-" Adam pulled his attention when he sat his hand on top of Keiths.

 

"I know, I don't understand either, but we just have to accept he's not coming back to us," That was it, the statement that finally broke Keith down, he finally let his long-held back tears fall silently, In only took a moment for Adam to notice and instinctually reach to wipe them away, but stopped himself not knowing how Keith would react. Until the boy pushed himself into Adams' chest tightly sobbing incompressible words, "I'm sorry you have to deal with this you don't deserve it."

 

"Shiro didn't deserve this."Keith pushed into Adam more tears still falling, "I wasn't going to cry," he forces a laugh with that. Adam just wraps an arm around Keiths back.

 

“We all need to sometimes,” He didn't know how to react, he’s always been on the other side, “I’m not sure if it will help,” Adam starter earning Keiths full attention, but he looked across the room as he spoke “You probably already know, but he loves you more than anything. He came home almost every night and the first thing he said would always be fussing over you, you were always the highlight of his day.” Adam finally turned to see Keith smiling to himself, “He could have had the worst day of his life, but just seeing you for a second would turn it all around, hell you were there for him even when I gave up on him. you were there at the launch.” He couldn't hold all the tears back anymore and let a few fall.

 

Keith sat up pulling his hands up to sit on either of Adams' shoulders, “Thanks for this, but I don't think either one of us wants to have to explain to Kinkade when he gets back.”

 

Adam took the smallers hand into his own and squeezed it, “Okay,” he managed to crack a smile, “If you ever need anything please talk to me,” Keith smiled back, “Also avoid the common room tonight, they will be airing the news.” With that, Adam lifted himself off the bed leaving Keith alone in his dorm.

  


* * *

  
  
  


_Pilot Error,_ two words that covered every screen across the Garrison for the next week Keith could handle it when Iverson came into his class, it had started fine until he picked apart everything wrong with the crew, everything wrong with Shiro. He just ran out of the room and fell down in the hall sobbing, _They are all wrong, It wasn't his fault. They don't know him at all._

 

“Hey fag,” _shit._ Keith turned to see James behind him, he just wanted to walk to his dorm on peace, was that too much to ask? “How is it possible for someone to be such a fuck up?”

 

“What do you want from me?”

 

“I mean look you are so terrible to love, mommy leaves, Daddy gets cooked, and Shiro would rather crash his ship and kill his crew than come home to see you” Keith wanted nothing more than to beat that smirk off his face, but he couldn't afford to.

 

“Just leave me alone,” Keith pleaded trying to turn away before getting pulled back by his collar his face barely an inch from James’ his heat radiating against the other's cheeks.

 

“Dont act like you're not into this so desperate for-” James suddenly stumbled backward to Keith's surprise a familiar face showed up reaching a hand out.

 

“You forgot your key” _Kinkade._ Keith grabbed the key quickly knowing damn well it wasn't his and ran off before James could catch what just happened.


	2. Late Nights

**22:19** _where the fuck could he be?_ Keith skipped out on the library after his run-in with James and headed straight to his dorm room, even though exhausted he stayed up to let Ryan in since he had given his key to Keith

 **23:39** Well past curfew

 **00:12** The lights had long been turned off now just the faint glow of a dying lamp lit the room Keith falling in and out of conciseness debating if he should go look for Kinkade, he'd get in trouble if he was roaming the halls this late, and wouldn't even know where to start. Instead, he continued to run his thumb across the ragged side of the key

 **00:43** A light tap on the metal door brought Keith back to reality, he immediately jumped up to let the other cadet in, "Where the hell have you been,"Ryan just pushed his way in towards his bed, "Did you get lost or something, I was about to go looking for you."

 

" _Fuck,"_ Ryan winced as he pulled his shirt above his head, "I helped you out we hit our quota of the day."

 

"Yeah then you had me waiting 'til almost one in the damn morning, I think an explanation is only fair," Ryan didn't even bother to look at him, "Whatever, here's your genius plan," He shoved the key into Ryans' hand.

 

 **1:36** Although being past exhaustion Keith could not force himself to fall asleep, just stared at the ceiling, Just then a whisper from across the room caught his attention, "I'm sorry for making you worry."

 

"I wasn't worried, just tired."

 

"Yeah you seem so tired" Ryan turned onto his side and flipped the lamp on, "Wanna talk?"

 

"Didn't know you could." he laughed to himself.

 

"We barely know each other, but I can see you're on edge lately." Silence overtook the room neither knowing what to say next. "I went out to run after running into you and accidentally fell asleep out by the track, back against a tree, that will have you aching for awhile man."  _I've never heard him say so much at once,_ "Whole garrison has been a mess the past week with Kerberos, didn't think about it until today but," He stopped and locked eyes with Keith "That's what has had you upset for a while, huh?"

 

Keith squeezed his eyes shut blocking the universe out, "No one knew him as well as they think"

 

“We all put on a show, I can’t imagine how much someone in his spotlight would,” he paused thinking about how to form his next words, “Do you think he’s still alive?”

 

“I want to.”

 

* * *

 

"What do people want from me?"Keith pulled the door behind him closed a bit rougher than he had intended as he threw his bag into the chair in front of him, "Don't they understand that if I knew anything I would have already said it?"

 

Adam turned pushing his lips into a tight line, "Well if any one of your classmates knew anything, " He gestured to the tea he was pouring for himself receiving a nod back, "It would be you. Everyones just so on edge about it now too, and they want answers just like you, we humans lose some logic when emotional." He set a glass in front of Keith before sitting across from him, "Anything, in particular, you're struggling with?"

 

Keith pulled a series of textbooks and notes out of his bag, "Not really." 

Adam had noticed the cadet struggling in his classes, and couldn’t blame him at all, so instead set up for tutoring with him every other day, Keith was incredibly intelligent, just needed someone to push him. They spent a few hours going over Keith’s current subjects before Keith was visibly bored out of his damn mind.

 

“Anything else you want to talk about?” Keith shook his head and started to gather his books, “Hey, I may have heard no classes are scheduled for the simulator for the rest of the night,” That caught Keith's attention, “You wanna sneak in?”

 

“Obviously!”

 

They went down the least populated halls to reach the simulator acting as naturally as possible. Adam fished the Keith out of his pocket a few meters before reaching the door so he could swiftly unlock and open it in one movement and locked it behind them.

 

“I haven’t seen you fly for a while,” He messed with the settings to find a scenario he felt to be quite advance, “Show me what you got.”

 

Keith situated himself and tested the controls, “Lets go,” He had a bit of difficulty at the beginning but passed without a scratch but once he got into it he spend through the scenario flawlessly, Adam continually upped the difficulty, Keith passing parts Adam himself wasn’t sure he could get on his first try. They’d gone through at least 10 scenes before Keith had failed, but he instantly replayed it. “Holy shit”

 

“Wanna do another?”

Keith leaned back to look up at Adam. It was now he fully could see what Shiro saw in him.

 

“It’s getting late, you should probably get back to your dorm,” He rested a hand on Keith's shoulder, ”Don’t know how well I can sneak you out of here.”

  


It was the two-month mark that finally broke Adam, the official death date, and memorial, He only stayed for as long as he had to, He couldn’t even find it in himself to speak, as soon as he was able to leave he bolted back to his room.

 

Unbuttoning and tossing his jacket aside Adam sank down into the bed and reached under blindly until he found what he was looking for, first a pillow matching his own which he had removed after the launch trying to scratch Shiro from his memory he hid all physical evidence of the man across their apartment, he buried his face into the soft fabric taking in the familiar smell he let a few tears fall into it.

 

He didn’t know how much time has passed before he reached down again to find the bottle which felt like a good friend in the present days and allowed himself to drink directly from it enjoying the burn in his thought, he laid like that until he heard a soft pattern to taps against the door, hiding the bottle away to its place under the bed he greeted his visitor.

 

“Hey, I was looking around for you, didn’t realize you left.”

 

“Yeah, it was just too much sorry I didn’t let you know.” Adam pulled himself over to let Keith carefully step into the room.

 

“Don’t be, I get it.” The door was pulled closed behind him and he leaned against the wall, crossing his arms loosely across his chest, “You feeling better now?” Adam nodded, “Good, Just wanted to check up on you,”  He placed his foot back down on the floor and turned out “I’ll let you be then.”

 

“Keith,” Adam stuttered out, “Could you stay for awhile?” Keith's eyes widend as he tried to find a response, “You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable,”

 

“N-no It’s fine, I can stay” He forced a smile and lightly grabbed Adams arm, as long as you need me. _Why did you do that?_ Adam thought to himself, _He’s just a kid, you can’t ask him to help you here._ It was too late, and Keith looked like he wasn't going anywhere as he relaxed again and fallowed Adam to sit next to him on the bed, they both ended up laying back horizontal to the bed staring at the ceiling. It had been almost an hour before either of them moved, and even then it was Keith reaching to wrap his fingers around Adams writst as the older man let out a held sob.

 

After a few minutes of Adam letting small whimpers, he held them back less and less before reaching to pull Keiths had into his own earning a small squeeze from him. “ _Fuck,_ I’m such a mess, you shouldn’t have to see this” He pulled his other arm over his face to cover his eyes.

 

Keith turned his head to look at him, “You’ve done so much for me, the least I can do is be here for you,” He bent his elbow to pull their hands up to look at them.

 

Adam loosened his fingers and tried to sit up but Keith didn’t let go, he accepted this and reached under his bed to grab the bottle once more, not wanting to let himself become sober tonight. “Is that?” Keith started only to have Adam mumble a response, and offer the bottle to Keith. He was hesitant for a second _whats the point_ He took the bottle and took a heavy swig. 

“Damn kid,” Adam took the bottle back and washed the liquid swish as he rotated the neck in his fist, “It’s weird, I didn’t feel alone when he left, only now.” he pulled his phone from his pants pocket and scoured through the files

 

“We thought he was coming back,” Keith looked over Adams' shoulder to see a folder compiled completely by pictures of the young pilot, some official Garrison photos, selfies, casual ones, and others most likely taken by Adam without Shiro even knowing. “Holy,” Adam stopped on one lacking any clothing, perfectly framed to leave at least an inch of the man to the imagination.

 

“Wasn’t he beautiful?” Adam handed the phone to Keith who spent more time looking at the photo that he’d like to admit before swiping to the next, which was no better, no it was because in this one a huge smile was painted across his face. “I promised I’d never show these to anyone, but I don’t think he’d mind you seeing,” Adam took a deep breath, “I wouldn’t have been surprised if he would have left me in a few years for you.”

 

Keith stopped breathing for a second, _Did I hear that correctly?_ “What he was like my brother!”

 

“Keith, I have two brothers and I would be overly concerned if they ever looked at me the way you two look at each other, Brothers bicker and annoy each other, they don’t make your heart skip a beat and make you want to turn your life around.” Keith opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out, “You’re perfect Keith, he loved you, even I could see that, your age was the only thing holding him back.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” _This made no sense, he knew he’d had a stupid crush on Shiro but that's all it was._

 

“Let me show you,” Time seemed to slow as Adam pushed himself against Keith causing him to freeze, Adam brought his hand to the other's chest to push him back against the bed once more.

 

Keith caught up with his thoughts before sliding back sitting up with his back against the wall, “Adam,” he started carefully, raising his hands, “You're drunk and didn’t think that through, so I’m just going to leave and-” He leaned to get off the bed before but found himself held in place by the arm hooked around his waist, “Please just, we can just pretend this never happened,” Adam looked up at him like a wounded animal weakening his grasp for a moment which Keith used to free himself and rush out the door before collapsing against the wall outside.

  
  
  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was intended to be a one-shot, but I'm really getting into this.


	3. Forgive and Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was meaning to update sooner, sorry everyone. Probably going to have only another chapter or two after this one.

 

Days, no weeks passed after the memorial without Keith so much as looking at Adam, He just couldn't.

Keith was making his way through the hall during his free period, taking a much-needed walk to calm himself, and it helped. Until he saw Adam far down the hall coming the opposite direction. Keith turned and quickly picked up his pace, staying careful to no draw attention to himself, Adam cared about no such thing as he lunged forward and wrapped a hand around the boy's bicep causing him to go rigid, "Please."

Adam's voice was broken, "Keith, let me," Keith pulled once Adam involuntary loosened his grasp, and spun around taking a step back, trying to look as intimidating as he could in a state of fear. "I'm sorry," He managed to pull his chin up and make eye contact with Keith through the cadets thick jet bangs. "I know I fucked up, I have no excuse but I want to fix this."

"Fucking up seems to be quite the pattern for you." The words cut through Adam, directly through his heart, Keith immediately realizing that he could have an effect on someone,  _ anyone  _ "I- I didn't mean"

 

"No, you're right. But, if you want to forgive me, meet me tonight?" He pulled himself backward, leaving Keith dumb-founded in the middle of the deserted hall.

* * *

  
  


"And where are you going?" Ryan sleepily questioned looking up from his book.

 

"I have to meet-" Keith pushed his lips shut mid-sentence and he threw pulled on a plain gray t-shirt. Ryans interest was caught enough for him to phase back into consciousness, "itsjustAdamokay."

 

"Thought you weren't talking?"

 

"it's a one-time thing," Keith pulled a red hood above his head and exited the room before he could be asked any more about his plans.

* * *

 

The sun had long set, but the stars kept the sky brightly lit galaxies away, their shine unblocked by any clouds, Keith had heard a hundred times about how others found it peaceful and comforting, but he could see the chaos and fire in the sky,  _ Nowhere is perfect.  _ There may not be hate and war like on Earth, but there was death, the death of stars, planets and ambitious humans filling the night sky. Keith padded across the Garrisons roof, a perfect example of man meeting nature, the foil lining the pathways cheaply reflecting the universe' lights onto Keiths retinas.

Adam had given him no when or where but Keith was certain he knew what to do, a copy of what Shiro would do all those months ago, even if he wasn't aware what the man did all those nights when he was absent from their shared bed, he sure as hell had an idea now. A shadow on the edge caught Keith's attention as it twisted to face him.

 

* * *

 

 

_ "Do you think they'll ever let me fly?" Keith blurted out after comfortable silence had overcome the pair for who knows how long.  _

 

_ "You fly all the time," Shiro pushed his arms further behind him to relax his position from the hunch he didn't notice he'd let himself fall into. The sun was barely visible, the surrounding sky engulfed in a deep indigo making it all feel so empty in the pilot's eyes. _

 

_ "But like, out of the atmosphere, far away from everything."  **Away with you,** Keith desperately wanted to say. _

 

_ "I'm sure they will, you're  damn good at it." He lightly brushed the hair out of Keith's face, "You do need to learn a bit of discipline, I know everyone seems like assholes, but they have to like you to get big time." Neither of them had to speak to know the other thoughts, Keith let himself fall into the older man, sleep eventually overcoming him, but he knew he wouldn't have to worry about getting back to his dorm safely. _

 

* * *

 

"You came," Adam almost jumped before realizing halfway through the action he should stay calmer _,_ _now_ he should be treating the cadet like the frightened animal he is.

"I did," He stared at the ground to convince himself he really even should have shown up, lost in his thoughts for a moment before shooting his eyes back up, his voice sharp, "So what do you want anyway?" 

 

"To apologize. I wasn't thinking straight, I shouldn't have even let you come in, but I was drunk and I only thought about how  _I_ felt. I don't want to make excuses, I just don't want this to ruin us."

 

"I'm not going to just forgive and forget," Adam tried to interrupt but Keith didn't so much as pause, "You grabbed me like it was natural, you didn't even realize how wrong it was, Do you even remember what you were saying? The pictures you showed me, That can't just disappear. You either get to accept what happened or leave me alone." Keith didn't even know what he was saying before it came out, not until now had he thought about how everything made him feel, about the effect Adam had on him.

 

"I've accepted it, I take full responsibility, I just want us to move forward-"

 

"How are we supposed to move forward?" The words cut like knives through the dense air. 

 

"I don't know what you mean." Adam genuinely didn't  _goddamnit why is he acting so professional about this?_ Maybe Keith was just being an overly emotional teenager, but to him it made sense.

 

"For fuck's sake, talk like a person, you can show emotions _sober_ you know?" Adam was still lost in Keiths thoughts, "Tell me how you feel, why you did it, throw it all on the table."

 

"I- you just remind me so much of Shiro when we first met, I got lost in my thoughts, couldn't tell what was fantasy and what was reality."

 

"So you've thought about it before," Adams' eyes shot back up to meet Keiths in protest, "But just about him, I'm some cheap substitute for what you want?"

 

"What are you even getting at?" Keith gave up and made what be one of the worst decisions of his life, grabbing Adam by the collar forcing their lips together, realizing this is what he really needed. 

 

"You just want what you can never have again and decided to grab the next best thing," He breathed into the man's mouth, "And I fucking hated being that, but I guess we can compromise."

Adam had no idea how to handle what had just happened,  _Does Keith even know what he's thinking?_ Too dumbfounded at first to react, but once he gathered his bearings he realized how good he felt for a long time, he knew it was wrong, he knew how dirty he'd feel once this was over, but now nothing mattered. Keith was right, he wanted to be with Shiro one last time,  _He wanted the impossible._ They somehow traveled down to Adams now private corders, the night passing in an instant, both men disassociating yet trapped in the same fantasy.

 

__

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I contemplated doing the full smut scene for this, I did write parts of it. Let me know if anyone one of you guys want to see that, I'd just upload it as a separate part to this fic.


	4. Never a Morning Person

He didn't even try to move just scanned over the panels lining the ceiling, one seems to have been tampered with, pushed up just a bit higher than the rest. That little voice tried to convince him to fix it, but he never would, maybe Adam would one day, he's the one that has to sleep under it.

 

For now, though, Adam wasn't looking at the ceiling, no his face was buried into Keith's neck, an arm and leg also strung over the smaller boy, ensuring that if Keith dared to move Adam would surely know, not like he had that intention. If Keith wanted to leave he would have done it last night. Warmth surrounded him, for the first time since the launch he was comfortable, he wanted to sink farther and forget the world in this heat.

 

More time passed, minutes maybe? Possibly an hour. Nonetheless it was over, Keith knew it as soon as Adam stirred, slightly lifting his head to look at the boy,  _ so close,  _ faces almost touching Keith's heart began to pick up its pace, Adam just placed a lazy kiss on his jawline before sitting up, running a hand through his messy hair and tucking the arms of his glasses behind his ears. 

 

"Morning," his voice was weak with a hint of fear, Adam would hate him now, kick him out an never speak to him again,  _ the worst plan you've ever had Kogane,  _ There's no possible way he could think this wouldn't ruin everything-

 

"Why so formal?" Adam smiled at him and reached an arm to rest on Keiths crossed legs, "Comm'n Keith, were you not here last night?" He laughed to himself, and caught onto Keith's expression, "We're not in Kansas anymore. No way we can keep a stable cadent n' officer dynamic."

 

"I don't-" he paused. "is this normal now?"

 

"Do you want it to be?"  _ silence,  _ Keith didn't know, this wasn't right. "You don't have to decide now," He was still smiling, and it felt truly sincere. "But for now, do you want to stay, you should probably eat anyway. 

 

Adam was just as good a cook as he remembered, it was good for Shiro who burned anything he touched. Keith wasn't ready to leave, he sat in front of Adam, the officers' arms wrapped around his midsection for a long time, just holding onto each other comfort   
  


* * *

 

"Where were you last night" Ryan leaned into Keith's space as they passed getting into the simulators, he'd missed his first class this morning and went back to their dorm to get ready for the rest of his day.

 

He wracked through a few responses in his mind before settling on "Don't worry about it," and moving past the situation, but not before reading the concerned expression painting his roommates face. Ryan wasn't one to wear his heart on his sleeve, he wasn't even one to hold a conversation, but when you share a tight living space with someone for two years, exceptions apply. A lot was happening with Keith and Ryan was stuck watching the boy break and hide over and over.

 

It was unavoidable at the end of classes for Keith to see Ryan again, all he wanted was to go back and sleep as long as possible but Ryan was patiently waiting on his own bed. Keith just shucked his bag next to his bed and began to change into a pair of sweats. "You're really not going to tell me what happened last night?" Keith paid no attention. "Did you stay with Adam?"  _Shit._

 

"Why would you think that?" Keith tried to make himself oblivious and he pulled his shirt off to cover his face for a second. 

 

Ryan crossed his arms and jutted his neck out, "You met with his last night, Yes? or we're you lying about that?"  _oh._

 

"Yeah, I talked to him for a minute, then went up to the roof, I accidentally fell asleep up there" he threw himself down onto his own bed, "And  _yes,_ I know its dangerous, but I survived."

 

Ryan let himself relax, loosening himself up, "Fine, but I feel like theres something you're hiding from me." 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back(Yay?) I've been so busy as of late, sorry not for updating.   
> Also, I think I'm going to stick with short chapters until the last one (I pretty much have that written out, I'm going to have to shorten the damn thing.)


	5. Routine // Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit this is a lot longer than usual, Motivation hit me like a brick this morning. This wasn't beta-read, but I know if I wait until I edit it I'll never upload the damn thing. If you wanna let me know anything big I did wrong please let me know <3<3<3

Should he have ended it? oh definitely, shouldn't have started it in the first place. Had never been intended. He was drunk, the love of his life was legally dead now, and the boy with oh so much potential was standing in front of him. Shiro love Adam for sure, they'd been the only one there for each other for years on end, but at a point you want something new, neither of them had been with anyone else, and until the end they were only holding on because they had to, Shiro was only holding on because he had to. Felt it was his responsibility, leaving Adam would have broken him, he didn't love him like he did yesterday, but it was _Adam_.

It wouldn't have gone on forever, he could have come home, but he would have split it then. Keith turned 18 in only a number of months, he would be legal, Shiro found the person he'd be happy with. But here he was, He had Keith now, and he saw it, the more time they spent together the more he notices, Keith could contort himself perfectly to fly keeping an outstanding balance, Seeing him on that hoverbike could kill a man, arching his back and diving off cliffs. He was reckless and elegant, most of all he was unparalleled, as rare as they come. Once in a lifetime. Adam knew he would never meet someone like Keith, and he understood his fiance, and couldn't bring himself to blame the man, because here he was sitting on the back of a hoverbike with his arms tightly pressed around Keith in the middle of the desert watching the sunset. as they approached the cliff ahead, a very high one might he add, Keith slowed the bike to stop right on the edge, leaning back into the man who had yet to relinquish his grip.

"I love it out here," he took a deep breath, "Quite, deserted, no one to bother me" a hint of a laugh crept into the end of his sentence.

"Well then why do you have me her, Adam loosened his arms leaving a hand to creep up Keith shirt, pressing against the bare skin of his stomach.

A dramatic sigh filled the air, “I guess you don't bother me too much,” He pushed into Adam, turning his head to get a look at him before the officer buried his face directly into his neck trying to hide his expression. Anyone who had ever met this kid wouldn’t think this is the same person as the rebellious and independent cadet, gone limp against someone else, relying on them in the slightest way, relying on Adam.

“Is it weird that I can almost feel him?” The sun had long set, bright stars coving the horizon in random patterns to the common person, It wasn’t weird, the man had associated himself with the stars his whole life, and now he's among them, alive or dead, it doesn’t matter, he's not earthbound anymore.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Keith found a way into Adams daily routine, in the morning he’d often wake up next to the cadet, and when he didn’t he made sure to send him a quick text, the first few times we’re too sappy for the both of them, soon it developed into sending each other the latest memes they had discovered. No matter what he had some interaction with Keith before classes started, something at lunch, either eating together or a simple nod to each other before going on their own paths. During Keith's free period he could easily be found sitting at Adams desk working on something while Adam taught his class.  
Of course people took notice of how often they were around one another, but simply placed it off that it was only natural, them both being so close to Shiro it only made sense they'd end up gravitating towards each other, some students started rumors, but at the end of the day that's all they were.

Today though, Adam had only seen Keith pass quickly during lunch, he tried not to worry but couldn’t help it, Once his classes we’re over Adam quickly made his way to Keith's dorm and knocked maybe a tad too loud, if he wanted to he had the ability to access the lock and let himself it, but just in case Keith had been upset he didn’t want to throw another issue in. To Adams dismay Keith didn’t answer, his roommate Kinkade, He knew that much but his first was blanking, was in Riley? Ryder?

The boy opened the door lazily, evidently tired at the end of the day, “Yea- Oh. Mr.Wescott, what do you need?” His posture shot up as they made eye contact, careful to be respectful.

“Do you happen to know where Keith is?” Kinkade tightened his lips for a second as if holding something to himself, maybe he is just thinking don’t read into it too much Adam.

“He is still in his last class I believe, with Professor Montgomery.” His back stayed rigid, and he ran the hem of his shirt between his fingers in a nervous habit.

  
Adam forced a light smile, “Thank you” he began to turn before craning his head back, “No ones in trouble either, don’t worry.” The cadet visibly relaxed at his words.

Kinkade was right, that's exactly where he found Keith, at a table by himself in the back his books sprawled across it, making him look dedicated to what the contained until you focused on him, eyes locked onto his phone reading something, Adam nodded to Montgomery and directed himself to the back of the room, finally catching Keith's attention as he pulled the chair next to him out, “Mind if I sit here?” the question in no way directed at Keith, but to the surrounding people for the illusion.

He sat and kept his attention on Keith who continued to procrastinate, unlike the other students who felt more of a need to pay attention with their flight instruction present. Keith still didn’t say a word, about 15 minutes in Montgomery confronted Adam and he simply explained he desired to observe his student's other classes during his planning period, She took it at face value and continued her work. How Keith managed to maintain such high grades when spending classes like this was beyond him.

Once finished they walked out together, Keith keeping pace easily, didn’t speak until they turned different ways at a fork in the hallway, turning to ask Adam where he was going. “Don’t you want to stop and your room to drop your things off?”

“Can’t I just take them to yours? I planned on staying with you tonight.” oh.

“Don’t you think your roommate will be a bit concerned if you don’t even go in for a minute?” _He knows I was looking for you, if you don’t go back he might catch on._

“Ryan will be fine.” And that was that Keith turned back on his heel towards the staff residences. There was no possible way to fight him on this, he had his mind made up and all Adam could do was follow behind him closely, and open up his door allowing the boy in.

Keith dropped his bag next to the orange sofa, discarding his jacket and boots beside it, and made an immediate bee-line for Adams bed, crawling up back to the wall, pulling his legs against his chest and burning his face into his knees. Adam had no idea what to do, so he just went and made tea, some minutes later offering a hot garrison-issued mug to Keith, who resituated himself to cross his legs and hover over his drink. Adam simply moved to sit next to him, allowing the boy to rest his head on his shoulder.

Adam set his free hand out on his knee, quickly picked up by Keith's. “Do you want to talk about it?” He let out a soft sniffle in reply, Adam retrieved both mugs and placed them on the bedside table so he could easily allow Keith to settle in his lap, head to chest, hands interlocked.

“I don’t even know what's wrong with me,” He finally allowed tears to fall, dampening the fabric of Adams shirt. “If there was ever a time I should be happy, I'm fucking top of my class and people are too scared to fuck with me.” he nuzzled deeper, voice barely audible, “This is better than I had in any of the homes.”

“It happens, we all hit rough spots, and right now you feel safe enough to finally allow those things to affect you _because this is better than your life was before._ You just need to confront it, but not let it take you down.” He tightened his grip around Keith's hand, “How about I run you a nice bath to help you calm down?”

Keith sat himself up a bit more and crawled off of Adam, wrapping himself in a blanket, “Okay.” Adam immediately went to the bathroom and got the water started, once everything looked good he returned to find Keith reading from his phone once more. He fallowed Adam back in, but before he could give Keith his privacy Adams sleeve was being pulled. “Stay.”

“What?”

“Please just stay with me.”

“Keith I don’t think that’d be appropriate-” _What if someone caught us. If that got found out you’d be expelled, Id be fired, maybe taken to court._

“It's just us, I don’t want to be alone,” His head was bowed, long dark hair falling over his face.

Adam stepped forward gripping on to Keith's shoulders, ducking a bit to make better eye contact, well the best he could. “Are you sure you’ll be okay with this?” He nodded, Adam moves back enough for Keith to get undressed, using all of his willpower to keep his eyes at an appropriate angle As Keith stepped in Adam put the toilet lid down and say a-top it.

Keith stopped and turned to look at him, “Are you coming.”

“Wait. you want me to- like with you.” Keith nodded, his expression evident that it was a given. “Uh, okay.” Adam began to strip as Keith sat on the edge of the tub waiting. Adam stepped in and rested his back against the wall of the tub, Keith then sinking in to place his back against Adams' chest, due to the shortness, they both had to bend their legs back, Keith soon to slightly turn more on his side resting into Adam, all paranoia disappearing from Adam as they melted together. It felt right.

Time passed them completely, they sat there for maybe hours, Keith had fallen asleep soon after getting in, waking up in random intervals for minutes at a time, as Adam just absorbed the situation, ran his fingers through Keith's hair, at some point did a half ass jobs at washing the two of them down.

Long after dark hed managed to wake Keith up enough to get him to stand, dry him off and get him to bed. Adam didn’t even get to think if he should just take the couch instead as he was pulled by his arm which fit snugly against Keith's waist. Not long after they had gotten in bed Keith's phone went off, they ignored it. But it did again. And again. Keith reached over to his phone, **1:36** , He picked it up this time to a very concerned room.

Adam couldn’t hear him too well, but made out an assortment of phrases; _Where are you? I’ve been waiting all night? Are you okay? Are you coming back? Please stay safe. Don’t do anything stupid._ Keith replied a few words at a time. _Dont worry. I'm fine. No. Tomorrow. I'm safe. Okay. Understood. Once he hung up he fell right back down into Adam, the air was cold but his arms almost burned his skin in the best way._

They both fell asleep tangled in each other's arms, Adams god forbidden alarm waking them both too early for any human to be conscious. They got ready with minimal distractions. Keith leaving a few books he didn’t need for the day on Adams coffee table. He walked over and picked one up, “You planning on coming back tonight then?”

“Only if you want me too,” His smile sincere, a rare occurrence from the boy. Could Adam blame him? Not at all, the boy had never had a home since his father died, he got close with Shiro but lost him too, but now they had found each other, neither of them lost anymore.

“Y’know I really like having you here, More than anything,” He swallowed thickly, “No one can find out about this, so please be careful.”

“Of course I’m going to keep this secret,” He stepped closer abandoning his bag grabbing on Adam’s hand, “If someone found out not only would it ruin both of our futures,” His voice got caught in his throat as he spoke, “But they’d tear us apart, I can’t lose you too.” He looked back up directly into Adams' eyes, on the brink of tears, before bowing his head down.

Adam picked up his chin with his thumb and index finger to look at him again, “Can I?” Keith simply nodded in response, and let Adam reach down and bring their lips together. Everything was a blur somehow his arms were around Adams neck, and his legs around his waist with Adam supporting him by the back of his thighs. They were definitely going to be late to classes.


	6. Alone in The Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has gone completely non-beta read, but here I am just throwing it out into the void

_ Once _ , yeah that was a lie. It happened once when Keith gave in. 

_ Once  _ it happened when Adam broke down. 

_ Once _ it happened when they were lazily tied up in each other.

_ Once _ it happened when Keith couldn’t stand to be alone.

_ Once _ it happened when they both pretended to be sick for a day.

_ Once _ it happened when it became normal.

And it happened  _ once more tonight _ .

 

Keith laid on his back attempting to catch his breath, not caring how much of the bed he was taking up, Adam didn't seem to mind too much as he fell right next to Keith and looped his arm around him _. “Holy shit.”  _

 

Not long passed before Adam raised and returned with a damp hand towel and cleaned them both up, and returned some loose garrison sweatpants to himself, not bothering with boxers, unlike Keith who pulled him own,  _ Maybe his own, they felt a bit too big. Does it really matter whose they are?  _ And a shirt at least 2 sized too big over himself. Neither of them wanted to know what time it was, and how little time they had to get any sleep.

 

It began to be a repeat of the same thing almost every day in the past month. Their normal schedule had continued but now Keith would go back to his dorm, do his homework then come to Adams, most nights Adam would still be grading papers or writing lessons plans while Keith would fumble around with his phone for an hour or two, in the most  _ distracting  _ way humanly possible. 

 

Keith  _ needed  _ Adams attention right now, so what was the most obvious idea? Climb into his lap? Yes. 

 

Keith went up to Adam at his desk and turned the chair so Adam was facing him, the Man sighed knowing he had no chance of getting any work done now. Keith crawled onto his thighs as he swung his own legs over the armrest, and pressed his head in between Adams chest and shoulder. 

 

Still determined Adam turned back around and read over his lesson plans for the next day, near the end he'd noticed Keith was softly snoring. Although it was harder for him to use his arms Keith being there made his work easier to handle, he quickly graded the rest of the assignments he'd gotten back, able to stay as calm as ever with the boy pressed against him. Once finished Adam didn't want to move and wake Keith, so be sat back and ran his hand through Keith's hair in his sleep he pushed back against Adam - waiting  _ did he just purr? He's purring like a goddamn cat.  _ This kid is going to be the death of him

 

\------

 

“Leaving again?” Ryan had barely spoken to him for weeks, just as much as necessary, but his roommate had been acting upset all the same. 

 

Keith threw a few clothing items into his bag which he had already stirred his mom's knife safely within the lining in. “Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

 

“Keith, please tell me what's going on.”

 

“Nothing to be worried about.”

 

“You stay with him every night, there has to be a reason.” _ Fuck. _

 

Keith stopped and turned to look at Ryan, “We just connected, He's become the closest I have to family, with Shiro being gone -”

 

“So he's filling that space now”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And you're filling his for Shiro?”  _ What.  _ “Cmon Keith I'm not stupid, him taking that role as a mentor to you is one thing, but if this is about Shiro, thank you are something else to him, whether it's happening or not, that's what he's thinking.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“He's 26 and his fiancé just died after a year apart, he's desperate for something, and you're the only one around him lately-”

 

“It's not like that,” Keith threw his bag back up to his shoulder and rushed out of the room.

  
  


Adam held Keith against himself as he reached over to turn off the lamp next to the bed, “Ryan knows.” His hand froze as he turned back to Keith,

 

“What do you mean?” His eyes narrowed. “You didn’t tell him, right? Keith, you can’t-”

 

“Jesus, no I didn’t tell him, he brought it up, I didn’t confess, he just said he knows  _ you  _ are thinking about it, not even that its happening.” Adam sat up and pushed against the wall behind him. “I lied, acted oblivious.”

 

“I need you to talk to him, tell him nothing is going to happen, lower his suspicions.” he threw his legs over the side, “I’m sleeping on the couch.”

 

Keith reached and grabbed him by the arm before he could completely get up, “I promise I’ll figure it out, please don’t leave.” Adam couldn’t refuse his expression and settled back down, Keith quick to throw himself atop him ensuring he couldn’t easily slip out once Keith had fallen asleep, he loosely straddled Adam with his arms draped over his shoulder and face buried into his torso. None of what Adam was doing was smart, word was sure to get out, he’d lose his job maybe worse, only time would tell.

  
  


And hell it did

The next day Keith never showed up to Adams apartment the next night. He tried to distract himself with his work but that was quickly all burnt up and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching out. 

**_Are you staying at your dorm tonight_ **

**21:24**

**_I don't have a problem with it._ **

**21:24**

**_Just want to make sure you're safe._ **

**21:25**

_ No response.  _ Adam fed himself and did everything he knew to help himself sleep but to no avail, here he lay in his bed staring at the ceiling.  _ He’s probably fine, just trying to calm suspicion.  _ He could go check Keith's room, but then Ryan would think something.  _ What if he’s upset with me, that would breach his trust, it's not like I can just pull rank. That's why its illegal.  _ **_That's Why Its Illegal._ **

 

It finally hit him. It all fell into place. There truly can't be a balance between them, Keith will always be scared of Adam as he holds power over him, but he’d never use that against him,  _ Would he? _

 

Time ran by as he still couldn’t sleep, all he could think is to try to get ahold of Keith again.

 

**_Keith Please._ **

**01:14**

**_I'm really worried about you, please just let me know if you're okay._ **

**1:14**

 

Still no response.  _ He must just have fallen asleep. Please just be asleep. _

He could no longer take it, he pulled on a grey hoodie, one of the few articles of street clothes he still owned, along with some plain boots and headed towards Keith's dorm and used his key to access the doors records, Three entries for the day.

 

**_Kogane, Keith 6:15_ **

**_Kinkade, Ryan 6:23_ **

**_Kinkade, Ryan 4:13_ **

 

_ He never went home.  _ Where could he possibly be?  _ The roof. _

  
  
  


At this time at night it would be hard to sneak his way up to the roof, most guards give up patrol around 11:30, but that was no reason not to be careful. He took as many back and staff hallways as possible before reaching the maintenance stairs directly to the roof, not too far from the area Keith liked to spend his time in, Adam had no problem dashing up and locating it. He didn’t realize he had been holding his breath until his lungs demanded air and a harsh sound escaped him. 

 

Keith was not to be seen where he normally watches the stars,  _ Maybe he's still up here.   _ Adam walked around peering into every alcove and corner until he was near the other side of the building about to give up he spotted a small figure in a cadet uniform, jacked opened with their knees pulled to their chest,  _ Keith.  _

 

He rushed over to the sleeping boy, dried tear tracks ran down his cheeks matching the blood smudge on his lower lip along with the deep purple surrounding his left eye.  _ Jesus Christ.  _ He moved Keith's bangs out of his eyes and checked for any other damage, Then searched in his jacket pocket to find a dead phone. He pulled Keith's legs out straight and situated himself at next to Keith to wake him up easily. 

 

Keith's eyes fluttered open, quickly dashing up to meet Adams, “What the hell are you doing here?”

 

“Could ask you the same.” Keith let out a pained laugh and fell into the older man. 

  
  


It was a struggle to get Keith back to his room without being spotted but he managed it, Once getting him back he propped the boy on the bed and stripped him of his shirt to clean him up, bruising covered his torso, and he fell in and out of consciousness. 

 

When hed been awake for a moment Adam decided to ask; “Who did this to you?” Keith didn’t even try to answer, “Please Keith, I need to know, I should also take you to the infirmary.”

 

“No. They’ll figure us out.”

 

“I can make something up, but we need to be sure you're going to be okay, and theres only so much I can do here.” Keith watched the floor intently before meeting Adam’s eyes, that was that.

 

So here he was trying to explain why he had a student he’d been known to spend an abnormal amount of time with a beat to shit in the Garrison infirmary at almost 3 in the morning. He didn’t stray too far from the truth,  _ “I could sleep so I took a walk and found myself on the roof and happened to come by Keith who had been unconscious and roughed up.”  _ The on-call nurse jotted down a short version of his story and took care of Keith without question. 

 

For the most part, he suffered nothing serious, a busted lip, black eye, some ugly bruises, but he had broken a rib, they were told it had been too far shattered and he would have to have it dissolve and pass which sounded absolutely enjoyable. Keith had been pretty out of it, from his injuries, the time and the number of pain meds he’d been hopped up on, so Adam had to really take any information to relay onto him later.

 

It had taken some explaining to get the nurse to not contact Keith's ‘parents’ who had probably already forgotten the weird mullet kid they had been housing for all of two months before he’d transferred to the Garrison, hopefully, the last time that topic would pose such an issue to him.

 

Adam couldn't find himself to leave Keith’s side in the infirmary if he wasn't there could Keith even handle the staff himself without lashing out? Would they treat him fair being as much of a ‘disaplin’ case he is? He didn’t want to worry about that. So here he was in a chair he was tipping back against the wall next to a sleeping Keith going over simulation scores for new cadets.

 

He was just about to doze off as Keith began to stir after a moment turned to see Adam and smiled to himself. “You stayed,” his voice groggy from sleep and his body attempt to recover. 

 

“Yeah, how are you feeling?” Keith turned his head to the side in his best attempt to bury it into the limp pillow with an exasperated sigh. “When you're ready, would you please tell me what happened.”

 

“Griffin.”

 

Adam sat up suddenly at the name and shook his head, “What!” He drew a long breath and starred right at Keith. “I would never have pegged him to-”

 

“Yeah, no one does, Known the damn kid since before I even came here, he's always had a problem with me but I can handle him.”

 

He said it so matter of fact, it was so simple to him and it pained Adam, “Well Its gotten out of hand, no matter what you could have done to him this is not acceptable, “ Keith opened up his mouth to talk but Adam continued. “I understand that if I handle this the way we’re supposed to it will cause more to come your way but we need to do something, you have to help me to prevent this from happening again.”

 

Keith tried to relax but a pang hit him in the ribs and he had to resituate himself, “Okay, just can we wait?”

 

“Yes, when you figure out what you want to do, talk to me.” Adam place his datapad down finally, unnoticing had been clutching it this whole time, along with his glasses and look back to Keith as the boy grabbed his hand and laid back to allow himself to sleep, Adam let Keith hold onto him as he leaned back and shut his eyes.


	7. Against the Griffin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 90% is flashbacks of the 'roof event'  
> slight NSFW non-con scene, I recommend skipping the last few paragraphs if triggering.

Keith was quick to fall asleep when he decided to, and man did he sleep. It had been almost 24 hours now since Adam had taken him here and stayed with him other than a few bathroom breaks and to go grab some food, Keith had only been awake for 2 or 3 hours total, and he had just woken up again.

 

“So when are they going to let me out of here?”

 

“It's going to be a minute,” Adam spun his chair and leaned toward Keith, “He messed you up pretty bad, you’ll probably have the live out at least the next 5 days in here.” Keith let out an exaggerated huff. “Hey, it's better for you to be in here, you’ll heal faster, and if you were going to classes normally James might try to finish what he started.” He dwelled over the thought, and for a second it didn’t sound so bad. Might as well just get it over with.

 

_ How was he even supposed to bring this up? Keith had mentioned to Ryan his intentions to stay up on the roof tonight, and convinced his roommate to come with him, now was his chance to bring up everything with Adam, Him and Ryan may not be too close but if there was anyone at the Garrison he trusted enough to tell it was Ryan Kinkade.  _

 

_ Ryan approached Keith and sat next to him near the ledge, “You were right it really is beautiful up here.” _

 

_ “Right, Shiro showed it to me.” Keith drew in a staggered breath, “We spent so many nights up here, I miss him so much.” _

 

_ “I imagine,” Ryan shifted his weight in Keith's direction, “Did I ever tell you about my mom?” Keith turned to make eye contact with Ryan and shook his head after a moment. “ She was a makeup artist, really big projects, nominated for an Oscar once. Needless to say, She was always busy and on sets, and I wasn’t planned, when I was a kid my parents split and my mom didn't like just leaving me with someone, so on her weeks, I spent the entire time on sets and fell in love with it, I wanted to make movies.” _

 

_ “And you're training to be a fighter pilot?” Ryan laughed to himself and lightly hit Keith.  _

 

_ “I'm gettin to it, I'm not good at this whole talking thing y’know.” He looked off into the sky to collect his thoughts. “I love cameras, but hate being on them, my mom was so supportive and convinced some people she worked with to let me handle some of the really intense equipment, they said I was a natural. 4 years ago my mom got in a nasty car wreck and passed in the hospital, so I was completely with my dad, and he'd never been down with my plans, He cut me off completely from all the people I knew in the industry and did everything he could to make me pursue law, said he didn’t want to to do anything risky or dangerous.” _

 

_ “So you chose to fly a death machine.” _

 

_ “I chose to fly a death machine, took the inheritance from my mom, and paid full tuition, my dad hates it, He wishes I was in film school now.” _

 

_ “So you did it all to spite him? Are you even happy here?” _

 

_ “I didn’t think I’d be, but I love it just as much as film, what's cooler than the chance to go to space. I'd rather be up there than on a set.” _

 

_ “You got a point to all of this?” Ryan moved an arm around Keith's shoulders and pulled him over. _

 

_ “Yeah, figured if I told you something big you might want to open up to me a bit more, I know you're an orphan, and were close with Shiro but that's it.” _

 

_ Keith fell back and let himself breath for a minute, “Mom disappeared, I know nothing about her, dad kept quiet, said she left because she cared about me, He insisted that so much I believed it once,” An inappropriate laugh escaped him, “Lost my dad when he when he wanted to save someone else. Got thrown in the system then Shiro found me and got me here.” _

 

_ “Huh, didn't know him long?” Keith shook his head, “And now Adam took his place.” _

 

_ “No, we just bonded over the loss, kind of hated him, he always stole Shiro away, but now we just got pulled together without Shiro in the middle.” _

 

_ Ryan let out a breath he hadn't meant to hold for so long, “What is going on between you two?” _

 

_ “As I said, we are both dealing with shit and are supporting each other, at least we’re trying can’t hurt to have someone in your life.” _ __   
  


_ “It does hurt when they take advantage of you,” Keith twisted his spine and was so close to doing something he'd regret as Ryan continued, “Look I don’t know if he's tried anything yet, but he's 20 something lost his boyfriend and some kid that worked to copy said boyfriend is now constantly around him, he could easily use his status to make you do something.” _

 

_ “If I did anything with him it would be my choice, I would let him pull anything, he’d lose his damn position if that got out. I'm not easy like that.” Keith jumped up and ripped his jacked up from the surface, needing to pull with Ryan shifting his weight onto one of the sleeves. “I'm smart enough to handle this.” He turned on his heel and headed toward the east side of the building. _

  
  
  


_ It was cold up here now even in the heavy jacket currently wrapped around Keith, he didn't want to go back to his room and face Ryan, and with that scene going to Adam was off the table. Sleeping on the roof? He's done it before, he can do it tonight.  _

  
  
  


_ ‘Goddamnit Keith’ Ryan thought to himself as he made his way back to their shared dorm. He didn’t want anything to happen to his friend, he might not be close with Keith, but he saw him as troubled, had too much to deal with and didn't deserve any of it, His need to be independently clouding his judgment, Not much he could do now. Let him have space was the easiest way to go. _

 

_ It was late, past curfew, even then a handful of students were still making their way through the halls, guards gave up on stopping them at this point. And of course with that was Griffin and his little minions hanging out by the stairs at almost one in the morning just to show off.   _

 

_ He tried to avoid them, but the only other option was to go back up and across the building to the other stairs and that was too damn long, so here he is face to face with the little asshole himself. _

 

_ “Aye, Kinkade! Where's your little boy-toy? Can’t leave him alone this late.” Griffin started to corner him, it was best to not fight, just find a good time to slip out of the situation. “What if someone tried to get him again, without his little knight?” _

 

_ Griffin grabbed him by the collar,  _ **_just breathe_ ** _. “He's perfectly capable of handling himself, especially against a pathetic child such as yourself.” Griffin threw a fist but Ryan carefully ducked out of its path, twisting the cadet's arm and slipping out of his grasp, enough to push him back and escape the situation. Griffin did not follow him, he knew better than to search for a fight he'd lose.” _

 

_ He turned back to his goons “We’re checking the roof, that little shits gotta be up there.” _

  
  


_ Footsteps, what? No one else ever comes up here this late. Keith faded out of the haze of sleep he'd started to fall into to get up and search for the source of the sound, not long passing before he was standing directly across from James.  _

 

_ “Nice night huh Keith?” _ __   
  


_ “Oh fuck off,” Keith held a low growl through his tone, “What do you even want.” _

 

_ “Your little boyfriend didn't seem too worried about you,” James approached him and began to circle him as a lion would observe its meal, “Said he knew you could handle us, I wanted to test that theory,” Before he could process the words Keith felt a harsh pressure into his gut and James threw the first hit and he doubled over on the impact, “I had a feeling he was wrong.” _

 

_ Keith swung his leg hard enough to throw James off balance as two of his friend Charles Keith, He was good in a fight, but didn’t have the skills to handle more than one opponent, couldn't keep track of them, and it showed, even at his peak strength he couldn't take them all head on and it wasn't long they had him on the ground, stepping on his chest, he felt as a rib cracked, but still fought, until James took over and straddled him. _

 

_ “I won't lie, I'm disappointed Keith,” He reached a hand up to brush the hair from Keith's face, he wanted to bite the damn thing off and leave a stump. The hand came back down trailing up his shirt. How was this shit necessary? Jame got up and stepped to the side, “Flip him,” He commanded and the others did. _

 

_ Keith's face was pressed into the hard stone, James once again looming over him before swiftly yanking down his pants before entering unprepared with two fingers, pulling a scream from Keith, not serving any purpose with the cloth around his mouth one of the boys had placed there. James leaned down close to his ear, “I thought fags like you loved this.” He reentered again, and again, Keith lost count as the tears fell. Eventually, they got bored and abandoned him on the ground there, after a long time laying he managed to fix his clothes and find a safe place between storage crates nearby, falling out of consciousness.  _

  
  



	8. Going Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I wrapped this up, changed the ending a bit then how I had intended at the start. I'm posting this prior to seeing season 8, hopefully, canon doesn't cockblock me.

 

Adam let out a strangled breath when it was his turn to speak, he’d let Keith go uninterrupted describing his time with Ryan on the roof, and the attack of James along with a handful of other cadets attacking him, leaving his abandoned on the roof, but Keith left out a key detail he couldn't manage to choke out. 

 

“Would it be fine if I had another commander questions him? Pull him away, say there's footage of him roaming past curfew when something occurred? If he thinks there's evidence he may just admit it without being forced.” Keith nodded, representing tears  _ Being emotional won’t help anyone.  _ “Okay, I’ ll take care of that later. Do you want me to tell Ryan anything?”

 

“Could you get him to come down here, I'd rather talk to him myself, even though I’m kinda pathetic right now.” A small laugh escaped him followed by a wince. 

 

“‘’Course, I could actually pull him out of class now if you’d like.”   
  


 

“I  _ knew  _ he’d try something like this eventually!” Ryan buried his face into his hand before turned his head enough to peak his eyes to look at Keith, “I’m so sorry Keith, I wish I had stayed up there If I would have followed you-”

 

“It’s not your fault.” Keith interrupted. “It's all James, and fuck him to hell and back, I didn’t even want to tell anyone, but you deserved to know I wasn’t just hiding to avoid you.” Ryan walked over to sit next to Keith on the medical bed, “I shouldn’t have stormed off on you like that,” He rested his head against his roommate, “But it was Adam who found me so….” He worked against a laugh pushing to his throat. 

 

“I guess. You can’t blame me for being concerned.”

  
  


Adam just caught Ryan walking out when he got back, he’d figured that with Ryan there it wouldn’t be an issue for him to go around and get some miscellaneous work done,  _ Perfect timing I guess.  _ The shared a nod as they pass each other. “He’s smiling, that's a good sign right?”

 

“Yeah,” Keith collected himself, “It went well. Did you hear what happened with James?”

 

“He’s talking with Harris now, He's going to call me once they're done.” Adam came and sat on the side on Keith's bed, covering the cadet's hand with his own, “I promise you that he will not get away with this, and I'll do everything in my power to make sure this never happens again.”

 

Keith visibly relaxed, leaning forward to get closer to Adam. “I just want this to be over,” He turned his palm up and squeezed Adams hand, tight. “I want to get out of this room, I hate the bright lights and no damn privacy, The bathroom door doesn’t even lock.”

 

“I’m sorry baby.”

 

“I know I ju- wait.” Keith's eyes darted up immediately, “What did you just say?”   
  


Adam tilted his head, confused, “That I’m sorry?”

 

“After that.”  _ After what? He just said- oh. OH. fuck.  _ Keith's eyes lit up but he consciously kept his lips straight, “Do you-”

 

“Can we talk about this at a later date,” Adam sputtered out, Keith looked at him intently, “After this is over,  _ when you get out of here.”  _ whispering the second half.

  
  
  


**_I'm sorry but there's no proof_ **

**_-With Keith's history-_ **

**_He's been the one to initiate in the past_ **

**_Griffin has no record._ **

**_There's nothing we can do_ **

**_Keith would have to make an official report._ **

**_Are you sure?_ **

**_Why do you trust his word?_ **

**_No reason to believe_ **

**_I doubt Griffin would-_ **

A week had gone by, No matter who he went to there were no options. Griffin was punished for nothing, and Keith was being discharged, hed return to classes and There was nothing Adam could do. Nothing but let Keith sleep in his arms.

 

Keith had pushed deeper into Adams' chest, pressing his lips up his neck, but once Adam rested his hand against Keith's back he froze up, he rested his grip  _ his injuries must still be sore, that's it.  _ Keith started to get needier against him, nipping at the man's skin but when Adam replied Keith would close off, It continued until Adam couldn't stand it and grabbed Keith's arms.

 

“What's going on?” He said nothing but looked to the clock at Adams bedside.

 

**00:08**

**23.10.14**

_ Oh.  _ “You're-” Keith nodded, “Can I?” another nod. Adam moved his hand down and cupped Keith's ass, but he went right again, his face showed he was torn, Adam pulled back “What's going on.” Keith stayed unmoving for a minute then threw himself back and pushed against the wall at the foot of the bed.  _ I-is he crying?  _ Adam straightens his posture, too afraid to get closer to Keith, “Hey, Its okay.” He reached a handout and Keith didn't recoil anymore, “Can you tell me what's wrong?” 

 

“I- I just can't” Adam moved a little closer as if approaching a wild animal, “it just feels so wrong now” his crying became more intense, he finally noticed the hand Adam had up and pulled it towards himself, hugging against his arm. 

 

“Is it because it's your birthday?” Keith shook his head choking out sobs, “Keith, baby, I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong.”

 

Keith looked up, expression soft, “Griffin- he - he” Adam moved even closer and wiped the tears from Keith's cheeks pulling the boy into his arms again and Keith went limp against him. “I didn't- *hic* I thought *hic* he- fucking *hic* I can't” He pushed closer into Adam soaking a patch on his chest, after a moment it clicked.

 

“Did he touch you?” Keith nodded into Adams' chest, never in his life had he wanted to hurt someone so much. “Oh, Keith.” He held onto the boy.

 

“it keeps playing in my head, I want it gone.” he started to even out his speech. “They held me down, it  _ hurt so much.  _ I couldn't fight it. I don't want to think about it.” Adam just held as Keith cried more, it was all he could do, Keith fell asleep there and he laid them both backdown, his arms still around him,  _ he had to protect Keith _

 

\---

 

Adam slammed his hand against Iverson's desk, leaning over to make direct eye contact with the commander. “We  _ have  _ to do something about James Griffin.”

 

“Officer, I understand you're close with Kogane, but”

 

“He molested Kogane.”

 

Iverson paused immediately, void of words as he looked directly, “Why are you now bringing this to my attention?”

 

Adam straighten his stance, “Keith came to my quarters last night hysterical, I talked him down best I could, he made it clear that it had deeply affected him, I can't stand by and let this happen.”

 

“Did he request you speak to me?”

 

“He doesn't know I'm here. I don't care that its Keith if anyone of these cadets came to me with this, I would do the same thing, we can't let this happen in our walls.”

 

“We have no proof, Kogane has a reputation for starting trouble with Griffin, it will go nowhere.”

 

“If I have to I will handle this myself.” Adam immediately left the room, keeping his head up high, only to collapse against the wall upon his exit.  _ There has to be something I can do. _

 

* * *

__

 

Was the plan great? Not a bit. Would it keep him safe? Yes. The garrison wasn't worth it, he's not going anywhere, He's the best pilot in his class but he'd never fly a mission. no one trusted him. Adam hated it, but agreed it would keep him safe, he can hold his own. 

 

So here he was, his last night with Adam. His last night at the Garrison. 

 

Adam squeezed their hands together between their chests, “Are you sure?”

 

“I did it before, I can take care of myself. I don't have to deal with the system anymore. Go off the grid steal credit card numbers. Find my mom.”

 

* * *

The backpack was limp, not even near full, but all he'd need, all the cash he had, some spare clothes, his mother's knife. what else? half eaten bag of Doritos? That's works.  _ This is it.  _

  
The halls were clear during classes, he headed towards the employee hall, Adams key card in hand. through here were the hoverbikes,  _ Shiro's hoverbike,  _ tracker already removed, keys heavy in his pocket.  _ Time to go home. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost wrote about Keith finding blue, but that retelling seems too repetitive. This is intended to continue into canon, and Adam does die.  
> Will finish up extra scenes soon and upload those as a separate work.


End file.
